


Let Me Save You, You Idiot

by El_Loco_14XD



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Bottom Negan (Walking Dead), Hurt Rick, I'm Bad At Summaries, M/M, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Rick Grimes Being an Idiot, Top Rick Grimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-01 00:38:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14508657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Loco_14XD/pseuds/El_Loco_14XD
Summary: The all-out war with Negan may be over, but there is one battle Rick still has to face. The battle within himself. With Carl dead, Mischonne not by his side, Rick is spiraling out of control. So when Rick and Judith go missing in the blizzard, it's up to Negan to find them. Once he finds the nearly frozen two, he looks after Rick and Judith and it brings the two men together.





	1. 1: The Blizzard

Since the all-out war with Negan ended, time seemed to just fly by for Rick, as well as Negan. From Negan's wound healing to having to spend his life in that rotten cell, time was now a forgotten memory. Before they knew it, winter had begun, with snow already beginning on the end of October, and the start of November. Rick sighed, sitting inside the cold house he called 'home' in his destroyed town. Alexandria was rebuilding, but it was agonizingly slow. To top it all off, Mischone broke things off with Rick. Why? She couldn't focus on the relationship with Carl's death. He let her go because he couldn't blame her. He couldn't either. If anything, it's the only thing on his mind. Finally, he had enough. He didn't care anymore. He didn't care if people looked for him, though he doubted anyone would, except the people that were with him since the beginning. He didn't care if he died out there, he didn't care how either. He just wanted to die. He just wanted to get lost and never be found. An idea then popped up, an idiotic, suicidal one, but it was still an idea.

Soon enough, after the plan was figured out in Rick's fucked up, grieving mind, he set it into action. He said he was going on a run, and he sneaked Judith along. Why? He didn't know. Right now it was like he was completely turned off, and autopilot turned on like Rick wasn't even there. It was as if he wasn't thinking at all. He turned on the car and just drove. He didn't know where he was going, he just drove. Any turn he saw he took it, hoping to just get lost, and he did, but not before too long, the tires slid on ice, making Rick swerve and hit a rock and crashing. Rick got out the car to check on Judith, but as he did so, he slipped and fell off a short cliff, knocking him out instantly on the freezing cold, yet soft snow. The last thing he heard was Judith. "DADDY!" She called out, not getting an answer. Carefully, she made her way down to her dad, shaking him relentlessly while beating at his chest as hard as her little fists could muster, but getting no response. "Daddy! Daddy wake up! Wake up Daddy, please!" She yelled, sobbing and crying, but unable to get a response, only Rick's slow, calm breathing and the twitching of his eyes resembling he was fighting for consciousness. She cried as she ran, yelling for someone to help her comatose dad, little did she know of the dangers in the forest such as walkers.


	2. 2: Where's Rick?

About a week later, Negan was brought out of his cell when he saw Mischonne on Rick's porch, her arms folded and crossed, blocking the doorway. "Mischonne! Well, I don't suppose you're still fucking Prick, are you?" Negan asked with a wolfish grin. "No. I'm not. I need to ask you something. Have you seen Rick?" She asked sternly.

"I have not. Why?"

"He's not here."

"Again? Are you fucking kidding? Again?"

"Yes."

"Well, where the fuck is he?"

"I don't know. He said he was going on a run a week ago. Haven't seen him since. Judith's not here, either. I'm guessing he took her with him."

"He said he was going on a run? In this freezing ass weather, that's cold enough to freeze your fucking balls off? Oh, and he took Judith? There he goes again, doing something fucking stupid! He must really have lost his fucking mind this time."

"Why do you care where they are, Negan?"

"Well, Mischonne. Rick is a fucking resource. Plus he's a grieving father who is also the leader of Alexandria. As for Judith, she's just a little fucking girl. That's why, Mischonne."

"Oh, so you're gonna go look for them?"

"I can if you want. He said one time I can't save him, well I wanna fucking prove him wrong! I will fucking save Rick Fucking Grimes, whether he fucking likes it or not! Judith too!" Negan insisted. Mischonne rolled her eyes, already done with Negan's bullshit. "I've already tried to look for him, I can't find him nor Judith. It's like he went off the face of this damn planet. What makes you think you'll find him?" Mischonne seethed. Negan looked at her with disbelief. "Goddamn, Mischonne... I know you and Rick are fucking broken up but damn, really?" He asked. Mischonne shook her head. "It's not that I lost hope. I just... Figured I'd wait. It's not the first time he's done this." She gave a reason. Negan raised an eyebrow. "But with Judith? Something's not fucking adding up here, Mischonne. Why would Rick just poof? If I know one fucking thing about Rick, it's that he doesn't just leave Alexandria. No explanation other than he's going on a fucking run, and he's definitely not one to take Judith, a little fucking girl, mind you, with him. Especially as cold as it is. Not in this blizzard. That's not Rick Grimes behavior. Something's wrong, and I intend to find Rick. Alive... Dead... Or some sort of shit in between." Negan tried to wrap his head around this but was unable to. "You know what? Let me find him, along with Simon." Negan offered. Mischonne flattened her lips with a scowl. "Fine. You better not do anything, do you hear me?" Mischonne warned. "No problem." Negan accepted, swallowing before getting back to his cell to get dressed before going to Sanctuary.

Negan walks in, feeling weird to not have people kneel to him. "Simon! I need to speak to you!" He calls out as Simon walks into Negan's room. When they walk inside, Negan tells him the situation.

"What could this possibly be about, Negan?"

"Well, today I was let out of my cell to talk to his new ex, Mischonne, and she said he's gone missing a week ago. Took little Judy with him."

"Ok, and? What about it, Negan?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I'd like you to come with me to find the two." Negan suggested. At that Simon blinked, astounded by the suggestion.

"I'm sorry, Negan, but you want me to do what?" Simon questioned. "You heard me. I need you to help me find Rick and Judith. They've been missing for a fucking week." Negan repeated. Simon shook his head. "I'm sorry, but why do you give a fuck if the man that's caused us all the fucking trouble he could give us and his nimrod of a daughter go missing? You never gave a fuck about them before, why now?" Simon repeated the same question as Mischonne. Negan glared daggers at Simon at Judith being called a nimrod. "Don't you fucking dare call Judith that... She is not a fucking nimrod. If anything, Rick's being the fucking nimrod here, Simon, not her. Rick is a resource. Judith's barely a year old, if not, then she is a year old. Hell, maybe a little older. She can't fucking defend herself out there. Rick is doing something fucking stupid again. I'm not letting Judith die because Rick's being a fucking dumbass again." Negan intimidated. Simon sighed, rolling his eyes. "Just this once, Simon, I mean, damn, come on." Negan said as he saw Simon pinch the bridge of his nose. "Fine, Negan. Fine. If we get stuck out there, it's your fucking fault." Simon finally agreed, pointing at Negan. Negan rolled his eyes. "What the fuck ever, Simon." Negan said, flipping him off.


	3. 3: Finding Rick and Judith

The next day, Negan drove with Simon trying to figure out where Rick would go in a time like this. "This is a fucking mistake, Negan. I hope you know that." Simon said before looking out the window. "Shut the fuck up, I'm concentrating." Negan silenced, looking for tire marks or anything and not finding one. "Come on Prick, where the fuck are you? " Negan questions to himself before taking a left turn. "He probably wanted to get lost after Carl, he probably wanted to die. So he took any turn he saw. Hoping he'd get lost. It's not very hard to out here. " Negan noted, trying to make sense of this. So he took the first turn, which was a right to find faint tire marks, which made Negan gasp barely. "Bingo." He said quietly following them, he then took a left, then another left before a right, still following the tire marks, hoping they were Rick's. A car was then found, vacant and crashed. Slowly, they got out the car and searched. Nope. No Rick, and no Judith. Then he heard Simon's voice yell.

"BOSS! HE'S DOWN HERE!" Simon called out, Negan slowly made it to the cliff, careful not to fall. There he saw Rick. Pale. looking to be motionless, and sleeping. "Oh, my god! RICK!" Negan called, running to the car, Simon following him. "Simon, you drive, I'll get Rick and find Judith!" Negan ordered. "Ok, boss." Simon went along driving the car down a slope carefully. Negan didn't even wait for the car to stop when he jumped out to get Rick. He scooped Rick up with both arms and ran towards the car. As he did so, he slipped on the snow and fell, dropping Rick while falling. It was then Negan felt Rick's pulse. It was very, very slow, but he had one. Negan then began slapping the fuck out of him, slamming his body into the snow. Nothing worked. "WAKE THE FUCK UP PRICK!" He screamed in his ear, his voice breaking due to his throat being slit. "RICK FOR FUCK'S SAKE WAKE UP!" He screamed once more, slamming him to the ground again. Rick's eyes snapped open, gasping. "N-Negan?" Rick asked. "Yes, it's me you stupid fucking prick, now get the fuck up!" Negan told him. "I-I can't. My legs..." Rick trailed off. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" Negan exclaimed, scooping Rick up again bridal style while getting up and running to the car. He opened the passenger door, laying Rick down gently. "Simon! Watch over Rick! I'm going after Judith!" Negan demanded. "I don't want him!" Simon protested, pointing at Rick. "WELL TOO FUCKING BAD!" Negan bellowed, closing the door, running back out into the deep forest to look for Judith. Rick then looked at Simon, seeing if he'd jump him. "Don't look at me! Look at your fucking boyfriend going out to get your daughter!" Simon said, shaking his head. "Y-you're lucky I'm f-fu-fucking f-f-freezing o-otherwise I'd fight your b-balding ass." Rick shivered as he threatened. "Riiiiiiight," Simon commented, almost laughing at the insult.

Negan ran into the woods, looking left and right. "Oh, honey, where did you go?" Negan whispered before cupping his hands around his mouth. "JUDITH! JUDITH!" He blurted, hoping for an answer. For a while, there was only silence, just the sound of the wind. That is until he heard a scream. The scream coming from the right side of him. That's when he saw them. Walkers chasing the terrified little girl. She ran and ran until one grabbed her. "NO!" Judith yelled. "LET HER GO!" Negan yelled as he ran and tackled it, punching it repeatedly. "Run, Judith!" He told Judith as he saw her run, only to slip and fall on the snow and grabbed by another walker. Negan grabbed a rock, as big as his hand, running towards the walker. "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH!" He screamed again, tackling that walker like the last one, hitting it's face with the rock until it was nothing but mush. He then grabbed Judith and ran as fast as his long legs could carry him, seeing Rick open the back door on the passenger side, letting Negan literally jump in. "SIMON! STEP ON IT!" He breathed out a scream, exhausted, closing the door and feeling the car slowly and carefully drive up the slope. "Where to?" Simon asked, looking behind him. "Alexandria. Please watch the road." Negan sighed, his voice breaking horrendously, holding Judith close to his chest, feeling her shiver. "N-Negan? I'm cold." She complained, hugging Negan for warmth. Negan smiled. "I know, honey. I know. I am too. I bet Daddy's colder though, huh?" Negan asked, holding Judith close. She nodded. "Oh, give me a fucking break!" Simon shook his head. "Simon? Fuck. Off." Negan told Simon harshly, shutting him up. Simon rolled his eyes once more. "Rick, I'm gonna talk to you about this. You hear me? Or have you knocked the fuck out again?" Negan told, seeing Rick nod slowly.

As soon as they arrived, Negan ran Judith in the house before getting Rick. He then ran Rick inside, looking left and right once more. "Where's your bedroom?" Negan asked as he saw Rick pointing upstairs. Immediately, Negan ran as fast as he could which made Rick's head spin then he pointed at a door on the left side, seeing Negan run into it as he softly laid Rick down on the floor not wanting to mess up Rick's bed before closing the door and fetching a warm long sleeved sweater, boxers, and pajama pants and socks out Rick's closet, Negan then slid beside Rick. "Can you move your arms? Can you remove your clothing? Or am I gonna have to?" Negan asked as Rick shook his head. "Guess I'm gonna have to." He said, sliding Rick's fluffy-collared jacket's sleeves off his shoulder then unbuttoning his shirt slowly before sliding the sleeves off his shoulders. Negan took a deep breath before unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning his pants before removing them, as well as his boxers. Why? They were soaked in melted snow. All his clothes were. Still, Negan couldn't help biting his bottom lip at the sight of Rick's dick. He stared at the beauty that was Rick Grimes a few minutes, taking the time to envision images of him and Negan naked together before grabbing the new pair of boxers, shaking the thoughts out his head. He put them on then grabbed the long socks, slipping them on next, then the pajama pants, and then the sweater. After that, he laid Rick under the sheets of his bed. Rick sighed, content with the warm clothes and bedsheets.

Negan then left Rick in his room, seeing Judith sitting on the couch, shivering. "Honey? Do you wanna change clothes?" Negan asked softly as she nodded, going to her room to change. 'Damn, she's smart. She's even changing clothes by herself!' Negan thought, smiling. Judith was so smart for her very young age. A few moments later, Judith walked out, sitting on the couch again. Then he heard a door open, and someone falling. Rick. "Hold on, Rick." Negan said, his voice so torn up from all the yelling and screaming before carrying Rick to the couch, despite his protests. "You hungry?" Negan asked the both of them. They both nodded in unison. "What do you want then?" He asked. "I want spaghetti!" Judith yelled excitedly, hands in the air. Negan smiled at her enthusiasm. "Just a sandwich will be fine," Rick whispered. Negan nodded before leaving the kitchen, cooking a BLT and spaghetti for Judith and Rick. He watched as they ate, Judith was eating so fucking fast, stuffing her little face full of spaghetti so much her mouth and nose were red with sauce. "Judith, honey don't eat so fast. You'll get sick. You'll choke on the noodles. And please chew with your mouth closed." Rick softly told her, seeing her slow down dramatically and closing her mouth. Negan sees how much Rick tries as a father, and he smirks, seeing him eat slowly so he won't get sick and he drinks water. He then sees Judith is finished, wiping her mouth with a napkin then she shivers, her small teeth chattering. "Judy? You... You want my jacket?" Negan asked. She nods, making grabby hands at Negan and he smiles largely before unzipping his jacket to reveal a white long-sleeved undershirt. "Here, sweetheart." He softly says, wrapping the jacket around her, zipping the jacket up and going back to his seat, which was a chair angled at the couch.

She then puts her small arms in the sleeves, twisting and smiling. Rick smiles and Negan's breath leaves his mouth, thinking of how pretty that smile is. "Judith? Will you let Daddy and Negan talk alone?" Rick asked gently, petting her hair. Judith nodded, smiling before walking to her room. "Thank you Negan..." Rick thanks after minutes of silence, rocking, his teeth chattering. "Oh, you are welcome. Anytime, Rick... I told you I could save you." Negan welcomed. Rick shook his head. "When I... When I fell down that cliff, I'm surprised I didn't break anything. I was knocked out. Cold. Completely. I heard Judith call my name. Over and over, I heard her say 'wake up daddy, wake up daddy!' And I felt her shaking me, I felt her hitting me as hard as possible, and I couldn't. Negan I tried so damn hard to and I couldn't. I was sure I was dead. I was sure, then I heard Judith screaming, I tried, God, I tried. I couldn't. Then I felt you slapping me, slamming me, I heard your voice scream in my ear to wake the fuck up, it's... It's a fucking miracle both of us are alive." Rick confessed as if he trusted Negan with this. "I went out there to die, Negan. I went out there to get lost. It wasn't until I crashed, fell, and got knocked out that sense kicked in." Rick continued. Negan looked at Rick with sympathy. "I... I can't fucking believe you, Rick." Negan shook his head. Rick cried, Negan seeing a single tear fall down his face. When he's done crying, he grabs a tissue, wiping the tears away, blowing the snot onto it and throws it in the trash before sitting back down, his teeth chattering.

Negan looks at Rick for a minute. "Rick... Sit on my lap." Negan offers Rick warmth. He would give him his jacket but Judith has it. Rick looks at Negan like he's gone insane. "Uh, no thanks... I'd rather freeze." Rick sassed. "Please?" Negan begs. Rick shakes his head. "No." Rick vetos. Wow. How stubborn. "Come on, please? I said please! I don't say please for everybody." Negan pleaded as Rick sunk his shoulders. "Fine." Rick got up, his legs giving out again. "Son of a fucking bitch!" Rick yelped, falling. "Jesus, Rick... You've gotta stop doing stupid shit. You really, really do. Now I see where Carl did the most stupid of things. His dad does it as well." Negan softly complained as Rick was picked up, and gently placed on Negan's lap. "If you need to, you can... Snuggle I... Fucking guess..." Negan obliged, tilting his head a bit. That was it. Rick's arms wrapped around Negan's shoulder, his face in the crook of his neck. "Wow, Rick. Cuddling up to me so quickly." Negan said, turning to face Rick. "Shut up. I'm cold. This has nothing to do with cuddling." Rick chattered. They stay like that, Negan stroking his left hand on his thigh, his right hand running up and down Rick's back, Rick breathing softly on Negan's neck. "You're so warm..." Rick randomly spoke his mind. Negan jumped slightly. "Damn, Rick. I thought you were asleep." Negan told.

"No... How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long was I gone?"

"A week. You were gone a week."

"A... A fucking week?"

"Yep. I worry about you, Rick. You know that? I really fucking do."

"No..."

"Well, I do. Keep doing shit like this, Rick, and I'll have a fucking heart attack I swear."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you worry?"

"Because... Because..."

"Negan. Don't say you care about me, do you?"

Negan thought for a moment at the question. Does he care for Rick? He keeps wanting to save him. Time and time again. "Yes. In some fucked up way or another, I do, Rick." He answered quietly. "Here's the really fucked up part, Rick... I... I..." Negan stumbles around with his words. "For God's sake, Negan, just say it. Stop being a fucking pussy and say it." Rick encouraged. "I... I wanna fuck you." Negan admitted, looking away. "Bullshit. You're just saying that because Mischone and I are broken up and you're horny." Rick denied. "Really? Let me ask you a question, Rick. Do you feel something poking your ass? Go ahead. Feel around, will you?" Negan questioned. Rick wiggled around, feeling nothing. Rick shook his head. "Ok, then. I'm not horny." Negan truthfully spoke out. Rick looked down. "Why me? You have, well had, like... Several damn wives..." Rick wondered aloud. Negan looked at Rick like he'd lost his entire sanity. "Have you looked in the mirror? You're fucking gorgeous. Beautiful. You're hotter than my several wives. You make Sherry, Dwight's super hot wife, look shitty. You put her to fucking shame." Negan complimented. Rick looked at Negan in a daze, surprised by the compliment. Rick looked away, not believing Negan. Negan leaned into Rick's ear. "You can think I'm lying all you want, Rick. I'm telling you now I'm not." Negan assured Rick, wanting to kiss him but stopped himself.

That's when Judith came out the room, she gasped at the sight before her. "What's going on?" She asked. "Your Daddy Rick here's cold." Negan answered simply. "Do... Do you want Negan's jacket, Daddy?" She asked, outstretching her arms. Rick smiling. "No, honey. You keep it. You need it more than I do." He declined softly. "Ok, Daddy." Judith then walked around seeing as the jacket looked more like a gown, which made both Negan and Rick giggle. "She's so damn smart. When she went to in her room, she changed all by herself. You teach her that?" Negan told Rick. Rick nodded. "Smartest thing you've done." Negan said. Rick slightly glared at him. "Are... Are you still hungry?" Negan questioned. Rick nodded. "Well, there is spaghetti." Negan suggested. Rick shrugged. "Sure." Negan got Rick a plate and brought it to him. Slowly Rick ate, enjoying each bite. "Thank you." Rick thanked him again, getting up to put his plate away. Negan watched him, in case he fell again. Thankfully, he didn't.

A few hours later, Negan was holding Judith as she slept on him. Rick was sleeping in the chair he and Rick both sat in, a blanket wrapped around him. That's when Negan felt something weird. A warm feeling, as if he liked being around Rick. As if he wanted to be around him more. Rick opened his blue eyes to smile at the sight. Negan then smiled back, giving Judith to Rick as he ascended upstairs, seeing the blanket drag behind and Negan smiled at him, laughing softly. A few more hours later, Rick is in his room, laying on the floor, telling Judith of Lori and how she wasn't the best of wives and mothers and to never be like her when she grows up when Negan knocked and opened the door. "I'm leaving." Negan announced softly. "Oh... O-ok." Rick picked Judith up, dissapointed that he was leaving. The real fucked up part? He doesn't feel sick about feeling it. "I... I kinda wish you'd stay longer... I don't feel sick about saying that, either." Rick whispered. Negan chuckled. "You forget I have a cell." Negan softly reminded as Rick nodded, his lips flattened. "Rick... I'll be back." Negan promised, kissing Rick's cheek, seeing his cheek instantly go red, and kissing Judith on the forehead. "You keep your Daddy outta trouble, ok, darling?" Negan checked and Judith nodded, and Negan smiled before walking away.

"Wait... What about your jacket?"

"She can keep it for now. She needs it better than I do. I'll get it when I come back tomorrow."

"So you're just gonna go out in the cold without a jacket?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, no you're not. C'mere." Rick ordered Negan, drawing a finger close. Negan sighed. "Rick, I don't need a jacket." He protested. "Too bad." Rick said, pulling a light tan jacket, the same jacket he... He killed Shane in years ago, brushing it off before letting Negan wear it. Surprisingly, it fit him, despite his height. "There. Now you can go." Rick was pleased. Negan walked to the door, turning his head to face Rick. "You know, you look fucking adorable when you blush." Negan gave the complimenting before walking out the door, laughing his iconic laugh. Rick blushed again, shaking his head.


	4. 4: Touch-Starved

It was nighttime when Negan got back to the cell. The reason why was because he had shit to do. When Negan walked into his cell, he took off Rick's jacket, putting it on a chair and undressed to a shirt and boxers before laying down and closing his eyes to dream, which were nightmares of his Lucille being torn apart by walkers, while he wasn't there to save her, and I'm not talking about the bat.

 

The next morning, he grabbed Rick's jacket and went out to see Rick again, this time without Simon. He knocked on the door as loud as he could to reveal a very tired Rick open the door. He looked to be just woken up. "Wanna wake up the entire fucking neighborhood, asshole?" He questioned with sleep in his voice. "No. I just wanna see you. I missed you." Negan said with honesty. "How thoughtful." He noted tiredly, closing the door. When they walked inside, Judith's voice rang. "Negan!" Judith happily greeted, her arms open and still wearing Negan's leather jacket. "Hi, darling! Still wearing my jacket I see!" Negan said hugging the little girl, who was hugging his long legs. Rick smiled, leaning against a doorway. "Judith? I think Negan wants his jacket back, dear." Rick gently told. "Oh... Ok." She said, having a struggle with the zipper. Negan kneeled to be at the same height as her, unzipping it for her. "You can have this one. It's your Daddy's." Negan saw Judith nod. Negan wrapped it around the toddler. "I don't look as cool," Judith complained. "No, hon, you look adorable." Negan said, kissing her little cheek. She blushed, running to her bedroom. "Oh, be careful, sweetie, don't trip!" Rick warned. "Oh, Rick, she'll be fine!" Negan laughed before getting up, rubbing his knees and thighs. This is when Negan realized he was getting old. Together they went into Rick's room to talk alone. "Is that all?" Rick wondered aloud to Negan, closing the door. Negan shook his head. "No, Rick. Like I said, I missed you. I told you I'd come back." Negan replied, walking close to Rick, seeing his breath pick up. "You need a shave, Rick. You're getting burly." Negan acknowledged, laying a hand on Rick's cheek. "I know. You are too." Rick noted. Rick's face grew red, and it heated up against his palm.

 

"How long?"

 

"How long, what?"

 

"How long have you wanted to... Well, you know...?"

 

Negan giggled at his shyness. "How long I've wanted to fuck you? Oh, Rick, it'd been for a while." Negan told, leaning into Rick. "Oh, that's not vague at all, Negan. Nope. Told me every detail." Rick gave sarcasm. Negan smiled. "Now I see where Carl got his sassy badass giant man-sized nuts attitude. He got it from his dad." Negan laughed. "I've wanted to fuck you since... I'll say the first pickup. That blue shirt you wore, damn if that didn't look good on you. All nice and buttoned down. Made me wanna touch you, but I couldn't. You had Mischone. Plus, you hated me. You probably still do." Negan reasoned, looking down, taking his palm down when Rick caught it. Negan inhaled sharply through his nose. Rick's eyes rolled up Negan's body, meeting Negan's dark eyes finally. "I don't hate you as much now," Rick admitted, letting go of it, and Negan now found himself wanting Rick to touch him more. Not just to catch his hand but to hold it. To feel Rick run his fingers along his chest and neck, to feel Rick slide his lips over his very own, neck, and go downward. He began breathing heavily, closing his eyes and just taking it all in. Rick fucking him, whispering dirty things in his ear that southern drawl he held, getting Negan's dick to pulsate, pulling gently on his hair. "Fuck." Negan breathed out, finally opening his eyes. "You okay there?" Rick asked. "Yeah. Just thinking of you fucking the fuck, fucking, fuckety fuck outta me." Negan answered bluntly. Rick became breathless, his eyes widening. 

 

"Um.. u-um..."

 

"Relax, Rick. I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon."

 

"I imagine it's not." 

 

"Rick, I gotta question."

 

"Oh, my God, Negan. What the hell is it? Is it why the sky 's blue? You're worse than Carl and Judith with your damn questions!"

 

"No, pRick. Do you think I'm obsessed with you?"

 

"Well, Negan, seeing as you envision me... Well... You know... What do you think?"

 

"I think I am."

 

"I think you're right," Rick whispered right in his ear, feeling Negan shiver, and not from the cold of not having his jacket on. "Don't do that..." Negan let out a breath, his body shaking. Negan faced Rick again, leaning into Rick when he felt himself back off, heavily breathing. Negan then sits on the soft carpet of the room. Once he remembers how to breathe properly, he hears giggling. The giggling coming from Rick. 

 

"Damn, Negan. Do I really have that kind of impact on you?"

 

"What's it look like, Rick?"

 

"It looks I do... Though I don't know how really."

 

"Because, Rick, I've said it before, I'll say it again.  You're gorgeous, beautiful, prettier than any wife I'll ever have."

 

Rick smiled, looking downward. "Well, thank you. But... You're pretty as well." Rick gave the compliment. "You're a hell of a lot fucking prettier than me, darlin'. Inside and out." Negan gave another. Rick scoffed. "Yeah. Right." Negan looked at Rick like he was the craziest and dumbest person on this planet. It was then Negan got up, and walked up to Rick, leaning towards his face. "Do you think you're ugly?" Negan asked, needing an answer. Rick only looked down on the floor. "Ok, Rick, let's fucking try that again. Do you think you're fucking ugly?" Negan repeated the question. Rick slowly nodded, still looking at the floor beneath him. "Yes, Negan. I do think I'm ugly." Rick replied. Negan put his index finger below his chin, and gently tilted Rick's head up to let his eyes reach Negan's. "You... Are the farthest fucking thing from ugly. How long have you fucking felt this way?" Negan told. "Since... Since I had to kill my best friend from kindergarten, I've felt ugly. As time went on, I began to feel uglier and uglier because of the things I've done. Now... Now I feel hideous." Rick explained, his eyes looking down. "Rick, you had to kill those people. You weren't going to be their mother fucking doorstep. Obviously, you weren't gonna be mine, either. Oh no sir. You weren't having that shit. You were going to shut that shit down, no mother fucking exceptions. And for that? For that, I fucking respect you. I fucking respect you as much as your fucking son. Maybe... Maybe even more." Negan admired as he leaned even closer, feeling Rick's heat against him, feeling Rick's breath hitch and escalate. He then put a hand in Rick's hair.

 

"Breathe, Rick... I'm not going to do anything without your permission. Understand?" Negan whispered softly. Rick nodded, his words caught in his throat. "You're so goddamn pretty..." Negan almost whispered, Rick, feeling his breath he was so close. "So you keep saying," Rick said, skeptical of the compliments given to him. "Can you stop being skeptical? For once? Just take it, damn it. You may not think so, but Rick, I know beauty when I see it. And you are fucking beautiful." Negan told Rick the truth, the urge to kiss Rick was now overwhelming. What was Negan waiting for? The right time, of course. Now was too early. Way too early. But damn, if Negan didn't want to kiss those pink lips that were Rick's. "You make me wanna tie you up in my bed, make you never forget just how mother fucking gorgeous you truly are. You see, Rick, I have plans for you." Negan said gently in Rick's ear. Rick shivered, the tone of Negan's voice driving him nuts. Negan smiled like he always does, leaning into Rick to kiss him When...

 

 

 

 

"Daddy!" Judith called from downstairs. It startled both of them to hear the little girl's voice. "Y-yes, dear?" Rick called, his voice breaking. Negan smiled at his voice breaking. "I'm hungry..." Judith complained. "There's spaghetti... You want that?" Rick asked. "Yeah!" Judith cheered. "Ok, we're coming down!" Rick announced, his voice in better control as Judith started padding to the kitchen. Rick took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "Come with me, please?" Rick asked, opening the door. "Oh, abso-fucking-lutely!"  Negan was more than fucking happy to oblige. Together they went into the kitchen. Negan leaned on the doorway and watched as Rick fixed the spaghetti for Judith. Once she got her food, she ran to her room to eat it. "You like saying Daddy huh?" Rick asked Negan with an eyebrow raised. "Well, I mean... I like how dominant you are..." Negan said softly smirking. "That doesn't mean you have to call me Daddy... Trust me, I don't know about you, but I don't want to think about my Dad while I'm either fucking somebody or getting fucked by somebody... Ok?" Rick made a point. Negan shrugged. "It's just a kink, Rick." Negan pointed out. "No, It's what a daughter or son calls their father at Judith's age, maybe younger." Rick gently argued. Negan shook his head. "I guess you make a point, Rick." Negan agreed, not wanting to argue over something as simple as a kink. Negan sat in the chair from the day before, patting his lap to tempt Rick into sitting in it. Rick obliged, letting Rick be held by Negan.

 

Rick put his face in Negan's neck again, embracing the warmth. "How are you so warm?" Rick wondered. "I don't know, Rick. Others would say I'm the opposite of that." Negan answered, eyes bound to close. Rick laughed. "You wanna lay down?" Rick ran a hand through Negan's hair. Negan slowly nodded, his eyes droopy. "Come on, then!" Rick laughed, pulling Negan from the chair and dragging him to Rick's bedroom. Rick pulled the top blanket from the bed before taking Negan and Rick's shoes off and sliding in. At first, their backs were facing each other. Then Negan turned and pulled Rick closer to him. Rick gasped, surprised by the action, but he wasn't complaining.

 

***

 

Hours later, Negan woke up, wrote Rick a letter saying he was let out of  the cell and that he was at the sanctuary, that he'd leave a walkie-talkie for them to talk for when Rick wanted or needed him to come over, kissed Rick's cheek goodbye and kissed Judith's cheek goodbye before he was out the door to go to the sanctuary. When he went back to the sanctuary, he got rid of that hard-on he'd carried since Rick and he were about to kiss. But as Negan laid on his bed, he realized he craved touch. Not just his own, somebody else's. All of a sudden, everything became blue. He saw blue eyes, and he knew immediately, he wanted Rick's touch. He wanted to kiss Rick, he wanted to feel him. He wanted Rick to whisper naughty things into his ear. Filthy, sweet nothings that made Negan cover his eyes and actually whimper at the thought. Was he... Touch-starved for Rick? He had to be, especially from how bad he wanted Rick. The thoughts of Negan were consumed by Rick. His voice, his touch, everything. The only words in his head were 'I want Rick, I want Rick, I want Rick.' He shook his head to get them out his head but they wouldn't stop. They flooded his brain like the ocean washing upon the rocks. Time and time again. It never stops. That night, he dreamed of Rick kissing him under the same tree as the war, and Rick telling him he loved him before slitting his throat wide open. Just like how the war ended. Negan woke up with a startle and a hand on his neck, which was now healed. 

 

Rick knocked on the door, walking in after. "You... You okay?" Rick asked. Negan shook his head. "No. I just had this dream of us making out, then you said you loved me than you slit my neck." Negan recounted. "Damn..." Rick said, shocked. "Nah, it's ok. I blame it on my fucked up brain. I've had worse. Like, for instance, my wife Lucille being torn the fuck apart by walkers and I wasn't there to save her. I could only watch as her flesh and skin was torn off of her. Screaming for me to help her." Negan reassured with another sad and gruesome story hesitantly. "Oh, my God." Rick relented, placing a hand on Negan's shoulder for comfort. Negan barely smiled, his hand on Rick's. Rick then kissed Negan's cheek. Rick's excuse to have touched him with his lips. 

 

Negan smiled widely at the action. "Looks like you care about me as well." Negan made a note to Rick. "Maybe I do, Negan. Just a little." Rick confirmed, tilting his head. "A little?" Negan questioned, staring at Rick's blue eyes, captured by their hue. "Yep. What? You like my eyes or something?" Rick giggled, blushing and feeling a little embarrassed. "I sure do! They're pretty. They remind me of the ocean." Negan claimed. Rick blushed even more, covering his face. Negan laughed like he always did, pulling his hands away from Rick. "Don't cover up your face, doll." Negan cooed, leaning into Rick again, letting both their breaths hitch. "Negan..." Rick whispered, breath shaky and both his hands on Negan's chest. "Negan we... We barely know each other. Plus... If I remember correctly, you're a fucking monster. You're the reason why my very own people bitch to me about my leading. Most importantly, you killed my friends. My family. Glenn, Abraham, Olivia. And more. You almost made me cut my own son's arm off. This? It'd never work." Rick protested. "... I know. You think I can just take those people back? No, I can't. I'm truly sorry. I didn't want to kill those people. I told you that from the very beginning. I regret killing Glenn, I regret killing Abraham, and I regret killing Olivia. I don't regret killing Spencer. If anything, that's the only kill I don't regret. Because he wanted to kill you, he was being a pussy, sneaking behind your back and trying to plan to overthrow you. Take your place when you were out there, doing your fucking job. The job of being a good fucking leader. And by the fucking way, I wasn't going to make you cut your own fucking son's arm off. I wouldn't have stopped you if I did. It was an intimidation tactic. A scare. I genuinely liked that kid. He was so much like you. Scary, intimidating, fearless. Able to get the job done and do it right. Just so fucking much like you. I... To be honest, I loved that about him. That's what I love about you, too." Negan regretted, looking down. Rick took his words with a grain of salt, not believing a damn word the taller man said. "Prove it." Rick challenged, tilting his head. "What?" Negan questioned, looking right into Rick ocean blue, almost teal eyes. "You say you love all this shit about me? Prove it Negan." Rick pushed. "Rick, it's not shit what I told you. You're smart. Damn, you're smart. You're easy to negotiate with, depending on who you deal with. You're able to plan things exceptionally well. You're a good leader overall, and you got some damn fine people here with good heads on their shoulders. Now you do have some that have their heads up their fucking ass. For instance, Spencer. And how many mother fucking times do I have to tell you that you're absolutely fucking gorgeous?" Negan listed. "You have no fucking idea how long I've wanted to kiss those pink Georgian peach lips." Negan said, barely over a whisper, right into Rick's ear, sending chills and tingles throughout Rick's whole body. "Don't you have any damn patience?" Rick asked, the question coming out in a sigh. 

 

Negan grabbed Rick's ass. "No... Not really." Negan giggled. "Rick, honey, this has nothing to do with feelings. It's all about the getting off. That's all this has to be. All casual." Negan attempted to convince, leaning closer. "Says the man who went out to look for Judith and me when we went missing for a week." Rick tilted his head back. "Dammit, Negan, I'm not good at fucking casual," Rick whined. "Just this once, Rick? Just one?" Negan pleaded. Rick sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Just one though." Rick agreed, pulling Negan close before abruptly. "Won't be a guarantee, blue eyes." Negan said as they both leaned in slowly as if trying to savor this moment in between the two men. They didn't know whose lips touched first but before long, their lips collided in a sweet delicate kiss. With no realization hitting him, Rick deepened the kiss. Negan followed, a little surprised at the gesture. Finally, they pulled away, both breathing heavily. "Goddamn, Rick!" Negan exclaimed, pleasantly surprised by Rick's actions. "I genuinely didn't see that in you!" He laughed. Rick blushed, embarrassed.

 

"I-I'm sorr-"

 

"Do not be sorry! That was amazing!" 

 

"Quit fucking around! It's not funny!"

 

"I'm not! I swear!"

 

"Th-That was a mista-!"

 

"Bullshit!!!"

 

Rick looked down, knowing that what Negan said was true. But before he could start, Negan kissed him again, gingerly. Rick was surprised, but closed his eyes, enjoying this new feeling of warmth that swelled within him. Sadly though, he pushed away, not wanting things to pick up speed so quickly. Negan backed off, his hands up in surrender. "So... Are we a thing?" Negan asked. Rick smirked. "Let me think about it." Rick teased, walking out. "Does that mean yes?" Negan again asked, going after Rick. "We'll see," Rick answered, walking away.


End file.
